Merely Inevitable
by consumedly
Summary: What could have happened to Dawn if she wasn't Buffy's sister? Warnings: AU, vulgar language, social problems (life on the streets, neglect, substance abuse, violence, underage sex, death etc.) Rating: MA


Disclaimer: the characters and all recognisable situations belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy Productions.

a/n: I never realized that I almost only published slash and incest here! And because I hate it when ther authors do that I'll try and balance things out more. Here's one more fic for you "mmmmm" written for nekid_spike lj more than a year ago! Thanks for the review! And the eye opening!

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Once she was old enough she had slammed the door and run as fast as she could. Everything would be better, nothing could be as bad as staying, she'd thought as her backpack was bouncing off her back and the grey walls became just a blur at the edge of her sight.

It was humiliating but she sat in a corner begging for money or food, begging for anything at all. The first weeks, there were always people who wanted to help her. They wanted to call the social services or move her to a shelter. However, the more time she spend on the streets, the less noticeable she became. People would walk right through her if they could; as it was, they just walked right by her as if she was nothing more than a brick on the sidewalk.

At first it was easy, she was clean and so was her clothing. She was too scared to actually lie down on the ground so she slept on benches and every high surface she could find. After a while, the ocean water made her hair look like a rug and the smell wouldn't come out no matter how hard she scrubbed. That's when she started to visit some of the shelters, gave a false name and took a bath. Dawn managed to steal a bar of soap or two and tried to not fall asleep. Anything could happen while you slept. That's the first lesson she had learned living on the street s and she had survived it.

By the time the fall came to town she was one of the kids. That was the thing; somebody should have your back and keep you sane while you try to wish the hunger away. The choice was limited to social workers, pimps, perverted assholes and the runaways. It was the easiest choice she had ever made. Her group consisted of a short, plump girl with unruly hair just like her own and a skinny, tall boy that gnawed at his nails.

They had developed a system. Dawn was always a beggar.

"It's because of your look, you seem so vulnerable and they just have to give you something." Tim had said and she had to agree with him. Dixie would be cadging a block away. Tim was walking from one to the other, trying to be casual as he looked out for trouble. It worked pretty well until winter arrived.

With the cold, the people would stay mostly indoors and their income decreased with the temperature. That winter, Dawn drank her first beer. Sometimes the money was so little that they had to choose between alcohol and food. That choice was also fairly easy. On the good days, they'd buy as much beer as they could afford. On the really good days, there was a bottle of tequila.

The first time Tim had opened a bottle her heart did a flip rediscovering the too familiar stench. She took a hold of the bottle hesitantly and took a swing trying to get it over as fast as possible. Her body hadn't liked it at the first draught, but the second was a whole other thing. Dawn felt the heat spreading, felt her toes for the first time that day. It turned out the tequila was quite all right when it was below ten degrees and the air tried to freeze your lungs alveolus by alveolus at a time. It was even great because it loosened the knot that had squeezed her heart the last couple of years.

The not-so-great side of it was that the feelings she had successfully kept locked deep down poured out of her mouth, not quite understandable, but there nevertheless. They were seated under a bridge avoiding the snow passing the bottle around and talking about everything and nothing at all. Her nothingness was wrapped up in the image of one tiny girl that had gone crazy on her and then abandoned her completely. It still hurt; she continued to ache so many years after the most impersonal statement she had ever heard.

"Miss Lehane, your sister was released a week ago."

At first she was angry, but she had waited patiently for a week. When Faith didn't call her, she contacted her social worker. The answer was not what she expected, Her sister was released under custody. And the fucking guardian wanted to keep them apart, thought it'd be best for Faith to break all ties with her old life! So she stashed all the pain away and kept a brave smile, went from one home to the next and waited patiently. There were so many things she hated in her life but losing her sister topped them all!

She dried her wet cheeks with stiff fingers and took a healthy swing, but you see it was okay. It was okay because now she had a family, a real fan-fucking-tastic family, and she loved them. She loved them, really! Dawn smiled through her tears and reached out to warm her fingers over the fire burning in the can.

The winter rolled away and here she was, seventeen years old and already living on the crumbs people left behind after lunchtime. Her mother would be proud, if she was still alive that is.

They earned enough to buy food and t-shirt or two. On the rare occasions they had luck Tim managed to steal a dress or hats. Sunglasses were their favourites. You could see them but they couldn't see you. The summer was nice, you'd tan and swim, the sand was warm when you slept under the stars cuddled with your best friends.

Yet the seasons rolled away and the fall came too quickly. The wind was more vicious and their cloths were a year thin. The cops sometimes agreed to take them in but other nights they slept under the same bridges passing bottles around, drinking. Sometimes there wasn't anything left to say.

It always happens suddenly. It happened again, one morning she woke up alone. This time however she knew better than to expect. Dawn went to her corner and waited, after earning enough for a couple of beers she seated herself on the usual bench and waited. When the sun went down she opened the third bottle.

That's how she woke up when Tim sat next to her sometime during the night. It turned out she was never coming back, some asshole made sure of that. It was so damn difficult. One third of their little family was lost and the pieces didn't fit, not anymore. Time went by and the pain became a constant in their lives. Nothing was strong enough to make it go away, no matter how much it cost.

The next to go was Tim. The dicks arrested him for possession! Dawn had to learn how to sleep alone, but the bridges were too big and the silence too mute. It was so cold, too cold. She hadn't felt so cold since her sister forgot about her and Dawn had had to spend one whole night alone at the station.

Things went downhill from there. She had to choose, but this time didn't choose the same. She couldn't risk losing someone else! Dawn finally accepted that she was the only family she was ever going to get. And that made the choice even easier this time around.

After a week she was working the streets and was quite popular with the johns. There were lawyers, brokers... even teachers. The last shred of innocence she was harbouring after a life full of misery leaked out of her pores and soaked the trashy cut t-shirt she wore most of the nights.

It was easy to shut off and let them do whatever they were paying her to do. She didn't even need to close her eyes, Dawn looked into their eyes and stared at whatever wore the mask of a respectable man during the days and enjoyed fucking seventeen year old girls at night. Not that she thought of herself as a girl, she hasn't been a girl since forever and that suited her just fine.

The night was too slow. It was official now: she hated the fucking holiday season! The johns were at home with their fucking money! There were a couple of hand jobs but those weren't enough. She wanted - damn them! - to earn herself at least one night off.

Dawn put her freezing palms in the side pockets of her brand new bought-from-a-store jacket and tried to look casual. She didn't hear the car stopping so she leaned on the wall, licking her lips, nervously eyeing the street. She observed the women and quite a few guys stepping forward, showing off. Some of them neared the vehicle talking trying to get a look and name the price. The automobile never slowed down, no matter how vulgar and obscure they became so she gathered he wasn't searching for some typical slut. She allowed the lightest smile to play upon her lips and pushed herself casually off the wall and turned right walking along the sidewalk. Sure enough, the car was slowing down and she saw one of the tinted windows slide down.

"How much for a fuck?"

Dawn slowed down trying to get a look but saw that almost every inch of the glass was tinted so she bent forward and rested her arms on the door. The first thing she noticed was the strong stench of cigarettes rolling out of the car in waves. The next thing was that it was pitch dark in there. She could only see what was illuminated by the street light. There were two pale blue eyes looking straight at her but there wasn't even an ounce of desire. There was something in there but it definitely wasn't lust. She felt something stir inside but had no use for it so she dismissed it and gazed right back.

"200 bucks" With a bit of luck he'd be the last for tonight.

He cocked an eyebrow and followed the barely-covered curves of her body, stopping at the slightly trembling palms that were squeezing his door. Dawn tried to quell the shaking but unable to do so, went straight to business.

"180 and that's final." He looked up and she barely noticed the slight upward curve on his lips. It disappeared after a moment.

" 'Kay, where to?" He opened the door and Dawn slid onto the heated leather seat, unconsciously leaning forward and soaking up the hot air.

"Motel or an alley?" She didn't even look at him.

"Motel."

Dawn passed by that asshole that called himself a landlord and started to climb the stairs. She stopped in front of a door on the last floor. The paint was starting to peel off of it. It reeked of too many scents for a vampire's comfort.

The room wasn't as bare as he'd expected it to be. There was a bed and a TV. The rug wasn't first quality but clean. The piles of books near the window and the pillows arranged underneath it caused him to cock his head in her direction wondering what kind of a hooker she was exactly.

The smell of cleaning compounds and the same green, minty-fresh odour that masked her scent sneaked out of her bathroom as she opened the door. He followed her into the grey bathroom with the most ridiculous shower curtain he had ever seen. It was all shades of blue with at least one shade of green. Orange fishes swam on the almost-white water, completing the hideous lack of imagination.

Dawn was stretching to get to the box of condoms on the upper shelf when she felt an arm sneak around her waist and another reaching forward, taking it. He sucked her ear lobe and scratched it gently while placing the box on the basin.

"I'm in a mood for a shower fuck." His left hand found its way under her blouse and lazily teased her nipple. Dawn fought a shudder.

"Yeah. You're kinda cold." She felt his chest vibrate with the chuckle and gripped the basin, willing the feeling that tried to crawl out of her stomach back down.

He caressed her stomach and traced the outline of her hip. Spike stepped back and started to unbutton his shirt.

"Take your clothes off."

She took a hold of her red sweater and lifted it up and over her head. Next to go were her boots. She stood in front of him in, only in her skinny jeans, black bra and a waterfall of soft brown curls covering the pale flesh.

Spike stepped out of his jeans and molded his body against hers. He wound up her hair on his fist and pulled her backwards tasting the elegant neck. His eyes feasted on the gorgeous breasts straining against the black lace while his palm glided on her stomach and popped the button of her jeans open. He bit lightly on her jaw line, found her clitoris and rubbed it lightly.

Dawn bit her bottom lip but couldn't contain the whimper his touch aroused in her. It was strange to feel pleasure from his touch. He wasn't anything more than your regular John and would return to his family or whatever at the end of the fuck so that's the way she treated him.

Suddenly, her heartbeat slowed down and he felt her trying to catch her breath, trying to ignore him. He would have none of that. He let go of her hair, watching the strands curl themselves around his fingers.

"Lose the jeans." He heard himself say and watched her push them down. She didn't wear underwear, probably got in the way anyway. When she reached behind her to unclasp the bra, he slapped her hands away and pressed himself against her warm body. He traced the length of her arms, covered the slim shoulders with his palms, tracing the fragile bones underneath. Then down the shoulder straps, he traced the band to the front where he slid a palm under the bra squeezing one nipple hard. Spike enjoyed the barely suppressed shudder as he ordered her to spread herself

Dawn opened her legs wider, bracing herself against the sink as she tried to block out his rough treatment. She felt his other arm slide down her stomach.

Spike circled her clit and dipped two fingers to the second knuckle discovering her somewhat dry. He lifted his head up and sought the slick. It was on the second shelf. He let go of her and reached forward, taking in the bent head and the long pale neck framed by silky hair. He traced it with one cold finger while opening the tube.

She continued to control her breathing, obviously not taking any enjoyment in her work. So be it. He used his foot to push her legs and squeezed some lube on his fingers. He spread it on his prick and then with what was left traced the outlines of her arsehole. She tensed, the muscles in her legs bulging and then exhaled the tension slowly.

He entered her with one powerful thrust and relished the odour of pain. Her quickened heartbeat filled the silence.

She felt too full, too stretched. Dawn tried to relax, but his pace didn't allow her that luxury. She leaned harder against the sink, trying to pretend to have some control over her own body. That's when she felt the bite and looked in the mirror horrified for the first time.

She saw a thin red line of blood, her blood leaking down her skin. After a few minutes, she felt him biting even harder. She whimpered with the sudden pain and then there was nothing, she fell… That's when she started to remember. Her home, her mother, her sister… But why was her sister blonde?! There was only blackness.


End file.
